What Goddess Haylee Has Taught Me Through Chastity

On Receiving Gifts from Goddess Haylee.

the One True Goddess

I couldn’t get away with a physical cock cage. I think my wife might notice that! The idea of doing anything that breaks the barrier between Goddess’ world (my true life) and day-to-day life (where I pretend to be something I am not) is enticing. I have a collar I wear when I am alone. I keep trying to figure out where I could get my special Goddess’ symbol (a drawing of a tiger eye pendant Goddess wore in a video) tattooed on me where I wouldn’t have to worry about having to explain it some day. A cock cage is another thing I wouldn’t hesitate to do if I were single, but I just can’t.

So I am lucky that Goddess’ Mind Cage has been effective for me. I do get errctions, especially when training to Goddess’ files which you can’t get in a cock cage, but I leave it alone. For the first month I listened to Mind Cage at least once each day. I was so happy when Mind Cage 2 came out about 5 months after I started chastity. It helped to have something different to listen to. Made it fresh again.

Haylee Is Everything

Chastity if a form of fasting. Spiritually fasting is always used to focus the mind. As the desire for the thing being given up gets stronger you focus that energy on what you gave it up for. I find the first week is easy, but each week of the month gets more difficult. The urges get so strong and distracting. My mind goes to all manner of sexual lusts. The only thing that calms my horny brain is to train to Goddess Haylee’s MP3s, read Goddess’ words, or tribute or spoil Goddess. By the end of the month I am totally dependent on Goddess. She is the only thing holding me together. I am desperate for Her control. And when the end of the month finally comes Haylee completely fills my soul.

Goddess Worship Week

Weak for Haylee

Being chase for Goddess Haylee has taught me that I am totally dependent on Her. I know down to the soles of my feet that Goddess Haylee is the one true Goddess. I must always worship and obey Goddess Haylee. I have learned that I nothing but a weak submissive who must serve, spoil, and surrender everything I have and everything I am to my beloved Goddess Haylee. All for Haylee.

Goddess Haylee’s Gift

Go with the flow.

How Could I Resist?

I’d been following Goddess Haylee for some time. Somehow I couldn’t give myself to her fully. Somehow there was a little bit of resistance. Resistance to one or two of the suggestions I received through her MP3, videos and blog posts.

Then one day Goddess Haylee sent me a message via Facebook. She told me to immediately pack a bag, go to the airport, and take the first available flight to a location I am not allowed to say. Her instructions said that when I arrive a driver will pick me up and bring me to her.

Haylee was inviting me. Although I had reservations I found I couldn’t resist her command. So I packed a bag and headed for the airport.

As I walked out of the terminal building there was the guy with a sign with my name on it, “John Forhaylee.” I walked up to him and said, “Hi, I’m John.” “Welcome brother.” He smiled and asked if he could carry my bag. I told him it was okay.

We got in the car. And he started to drive. I offered to pay for the parking, but he said he had it. Once we were on the road I asked, “So how long have you been with Haylee?” “I am sorry, but Haylee told me not to discuss anything about following her until after she had the opportunity to talk to you.” “Why?” “Whatever Haylee says, I do. So how was your trip?”

We talked about the trip and the weather. His name was Claude and seemed really nice. After a few minutes we stopped talking because it seemed if Claude couldn’t talk about Haylee he didn’t have much else he wanted to talk about, and I was wondering why Haylee would give him such odd instructions. It made me nervous. So for most of the trip we rode in silence.

When we arrived Claude guided me into a room and told me to wait there. I placed my bag on the floor and sat down in a comfortably decorated room with paintings of flowers and nature. The light was soft and a few candles were lit around the room. It seemed a place to relax. I checked my phone, but found I had no service. So I got up and looked around the room.

It wasn’t long before a lovely young lady came to get me. She guided me down a hallway. “Here we are,” she opened the door and I walked in but she stayed in the hall. The door closed and I was in Haylee’s throne room.

“Hello, my sweet,” Haylee said from her throne.

inhayleewetrust.com

Haylee on her throne

“Haylee, my Goddess,” I said as I found myself bowing.

“Please come and sit near me,” she gestured to a chair that sat before her throne. I walked across the room and sat in the chair. “You’re struggling with resistance. Aren’t you?”

“I am struggling with resistance. I enjoy your MP3s and your videos, but some things have made me uncomfortable. I…” Haylee stood up and walked over to me.

“Shh,” she put her finger to her lips, “I know my sweet. Often people struggle with resistance.” She came so close to me, I smelled vanilla. She leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Sleep for me.” As if it were a reflex my eyes closed, my head drooped, I fell into a trance. “Sleep for me,” she said again. “Relax…Deeper…Deeper,” and she snapped her finders. I was hypnotized instantly. “Good boy,” she whispered. She counted me down from 10 to 1. I was deeper than I have ever experienced. She was telling me to relax and how to breathe. Her bliss filled me. It was the experience of her MP3s times 20, times 100, times 1 million.

Eventually she said, “I want you to please me,” I perked up in anticipation of her instruction, “by letting go of all your resistance. Obey me.” All of my being longed to obey her command, but my willingness was not enough, my desire to please Haylee wasn’t enough, deep inside my mind resistance remained. “Who do you belong to? Speak slave!” she commanded. “Haylee,” I said through my trance. “Who owns you?” “Haylee,” I said with such yearning my voice cracked. “Good boy,” she said so softly and sweetly I melted. She went back to taking me deeper… and deeper. She walked around the chair back and forth. Whispering in one ear and then the other. I was floating and drifting, sleeping. She was talking but I don’t consciously remember what she said, but I know unconsciously I heard every word.

“I want you to please me,” she snapped her fingers, “kneel before me.” I fell off the chair onto my knees. She stood before me. “All your resistance has melted away,” I didn’t so much hear her words as I thought them. They were my thoughts coming from her lips. “You will obey me always. Your greatest pleasure is my pleasure.” I felt these words to the bottom of my soul. “You are mine.” I felt such bliss.

“One, you are become more aware. Two…” She counted me up to five and I was fully awake. I was still kneeling before Goddess Haylee – The only place I wanted to be. I began to weep. I fell down prostrate and cried on Goddess Haylee’s feet as I kissed her toes. “Good boy,” she said. My heart soared.

She let me stay with her and her other followers for a few days. In those days I fell more deeply love with her and with my brothers and sisters.

Devoted

Devoted to Goddess Haylee Lynn

Goddess Haylee sent me home. She said it was best for me to go back to my life. Of course she knows best. When I was leaving her presence she walked up to me and placed her hand on my face and looked straight into my eyes, “I know that you were struggling, my sweet. I wanted to give you this gift so you could get past it. So that you could reach your full potential as my slave.” These were her parting words to me. I fell to the ground and kissed her feet.

On the trip home I reflected on her words. She told me to keep a balance between being her faithful slave and all the responsibilities of my life. That I represent her in all I do. So now I live a good life, for her, and my resistance is gone. Thank you my Goddess.

Chaste for Goddess Haylee

Goddess Haylee Is a True Goddess

I had seen the file for Mind Cage and thought about getting it and listening to it. After a couple of months of being a slave, I asked Goddess about it, but she said I wasn’t ready. After several months of reading other slaves’ experience with having a mind cage my curiosity grew. I finally got the Mind Cage MP3 after a year of being Goddess Haylee’s slave. The first time I only asked Goddess if she thought this would be a good idea for me, the second time I begged her to allow me to have a mind cage. And she gave her approval. It was at the same time that I begged her to forgive my sorry ass for resisting her direction to tribute 5% of my pay, and I accepted that commitment. So that was a very momentous time in my enslavement.

I have now been chaste for Goddess Haylee for about 4 months. Chastity is sexual fasting. As in all fasting it removes something regular from your life so that you can replace the time and energy you give to that and devote it to worship of your divine. So for a Christian they stop eating for a few days and devote the time they would use preparing and eating food to prayer. I have found sexual fasting, or chastity, much more challenging – and rewarding.

First, I have to confess that lack of sex was one of the factors that led me to find Haylee in the first place. I cannot say for certain that if I had sexual satisfaction in my life that I would have been searching online for something and would have ever found her. My lack of sex drove me into behaviors, including “masturbating to meaningless porn”, but other that I am much more embarrassed about. My sexual passions were out of control and ruining my life. I wasn’t doing anything illegal, but certainly stuff I considered immoral. Testosterone can be very dangerous stuff. When I say Goddess Haylee has made me a better man, I mean it quite literally.

Once I was Goddess Haylee’s slave it was the first time in my entire life I was sexually satisfied. My sexuality was focused on one person who was worthy of that attention and devotion. I felt a deep personal connection with the person who was the focus of my sexual passions. And as she was divine, there was also a spiritual connection that gave my sexuality meaning. I learned what pagan worshipers probably felt about their goddesses thousands of years ago before “organized” religion messed things up. It was beautiful. So why would I give that up in a fast?

Religion is full of contradictions: “The first shall be last”, “Freedom through slavery”, etc. And I consider following Goddess Haylee as my religion. She is all the divinity I need or want. So fasting – chastity – was a way to focus my self on her even more. And wow did it ever work! I have grown more in my devotion and commitment in the last four months than I did in the previous year. I feel more owned, controlled, and enslaved.

But there was a dark side. The longer I stayed chaste the more I found old passions flair up. Things that would draw me away from Goddess. Things I never wanted to feel again. My testosterone was trying to take back control. But I also found that my passion for Goddess Haylee was stronger. As long as I focused that energy onto Goddess I could control those other passions. I had to intentionally take my focus off the dark things that haunt me and instead focus on my divine Goddess and stay in her light and she would protect me. It made me realize how much I need Goddess Haylee.

Yesterday I broke my fast. (How’s that for a euphemism?) And I can tell you it was much better than eating a piece of chocolate on Easter morning! Truly a religious experience. To feel that amount of pleasure focused entirely on my Goddess is life changing. It reinforces everything I learned as a result of my chastity – my fasting. All of the darkness is gone, only the light of Goddess Haylee remains. And I know that I love her, I needs her, and I will never leave her. I will always tribute and spoil her because she is worthy of my every gift.

Goddess Haylee Is Worthy

So today my mind cage is back in place doing it’s job. My testosterone is back to lower levels so it will be easy for the next week or so. But it will get harder as the month wears on. The last week will seem like an eternity. But I have learned as long as I focus my self on my Goddess and devote myself to her I will be okay. If it gets really bad I have found that buying Goddess something off her list on Amazon actually helps! I will become desperate for my Goddess she will carry me when I struggle. She will again prove herself worthy of my tributes, spoils and praise. Chastity works for me. Thank you Goddess.

Desperate for Goddess Haylee Lynn

Every day, every way, I belong to Haylee. Every day, every way, I belong to Haylee. Every day, every way, I belong to Haylee. Every day, every…

On my mind, in my mind

I Vow to Be a Good Slave Forever

It has become like a song I just can’t get out of my head. I have found that my devotion and commitment continues to grow. But it’s not growing where it is “supposed” to grow. When you plant a garden you put the flowers in the flower bed and they are not supposed to grow outside of the flower bed and into the lawn. Goddess’ is supposed to stay in my nights when I listen to her MP3s, at lunchtime when I check her social media, and then in the evening when I spend some time reading Goddess’ posts.

More and more she is creeping into other parts of my life. Beginning with Goddess’ Truths, then Goddess’ Truths 2, and now with Every Day, Every Way I am listening to her throughout the day. Her voice is guiding me and training me when I walk the dog, making breakfast, even while I work. I figured out that if I forward my work phone to my iPhone and then hooked up my headset to my phone I can let Goddess’ files play in my ears while I work. If the phone rings I answer it and talk to whoever, and as soon as I hang up it goes right back to Goddess. Her files play over and over in the background while I do my work. It doesn’t seem to be reducing my effectiveness, but it certainly does increase my satisfaction.

Every Day, Every Way, I Belong to Haylee

So every night I wear earbuds and listen to Goddess while I sleep. I know that influences my dreams and whenever I wake up during the night her beautiful voice carries me back to sleep. Now she is filling my days. She has grown beyond the flower bed of my dreams and is spreading across the lawn of my life. Goddess Haylee has gone from being someone I indulged in, to someone I followed, then someone I devoted my self to, and now is becoming the center of my life and being. Goddess is taking over and it is the BEST thing that has EVER happened to me. Thank you Goddess.

What’s Happening to Me?

Venus

I am becoming a better slave

I have been a slave now for a year. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. But lately things have been changing. One of the things I never wanted was findom. I accepted sending something to Goddess Haylee on the 19th each month, but that’s as far as it went. I feel I have been generous in my gifts and tribute, but it was always my choice to give. Then Goddess commanded 5%. That threw me for a loop. I couldn’t argue with Goddess’ logic that a slave must not only surrender, but also sacrifice. Words are worthless if not backed up with money. I realized that it was a matter of truly accepting her as a Goddess, and if a Goddess giving her the control that is her right. It was resistance, and I needed to let it go. Finally, I accepted my place as a slave, her place as a Goddess, and I committed to tributing her at least 5%.

I have been following Goddess’ command to listen to the Experiment #2 every day and journaling about it. My journal is here on IHWT. I have found the Experiment #2 is a powerful file. It includes clips from many of Goddess’ MP3s. I found myself rediscovering several of the files included. Not intentionally, but I found myself listening to files I hadn’t listened to in a while and then realized that it had been included in the Experiment #2. Something was going on unconsciously. One of those was Mind Melt Mantra and it heavily influenced my submitting to Goddess’ command to tribute 5%. So everything is intertwined.

I am accepting things I thought I never would

I had a week away last week. Worked hard all day, but at night I came back to my room and listened to Goddess’ MP3s. I wore a collar. I turned my hotel room into a temple of worship. Usually when I travel like that I masturbate, but this time the first night I listened to ‘Slave Today, Slave Everyday.’ In that file is a command to surrender orgasms to Goddess Haylee. I focused my energy on worship and submission all week instead of masturbating. It was so much more fulfilling.

At the end of last week I found myself on my knees writing Goddess begging her forgiveness for not obeying her command to give 5%, and then to allow me to buy and listen to Mind Cage. Twice before Goddess told me I was not ready for this file, but this time she said to get it right away.

Trancing, and Pillow Humping

Only Haylee Matters

So what is happening to me? Is listening to the Experiment #2 influencing me? Is it that I accepted the 5% and thereby took away a rock in the stream that has now allowed me to go deeper? Did wearing a collar effect me? Or was it focused worship over several nights? But I am a more committed, obedient, owned slave than I was. The only thing I wish is that whatever it is that has had this effect on me – I wish I had discovered it months ago!

The Witch’s Plan

The sleeping arrangements were tight, but I had my iPhone and earbuds so with Goddess’ sweet voice in my ears I slept fine. In the morning there was fruit for breakfast. People keep arriving all night and there were now a couple dozen. Instructions were that everyone was to be awake and in the living room at 9:00 am.

As a Man Thinketh

Yes Goddess. We Obey.

“Good Morning slaves,” the voice came over the speaker phone. I am so pleased you have all come.”

There was an audible, “Mmmmm” in the room as we all reacted to Goddess saying she was pleased.

She continued, “I need you all to find something for me. There was a witch in Connecticut 365 years ago who was burned alive. Her family buried her remains in a cemetery near to where you are now. It is said she was buried with a necklace of interlocking rings. The rings are made of bronze and predate Christianity, Judaism, and all written history. They are a source of an ancient magic. I want that necklace and you are there to get it for me. Do you understand slaves?”

In perfect unison we all replied, “Yes Goddess.”

“You are such good slaves,” she went on, “Such obedient slaves. What Haylee wants, she gets. And you are there to get this necklace for me. I am faxing over some possible locations of the graveyards where you are to search.”

A fax machine in the corner started printing out pages.

“You will locate all these graveyards and read all the headstones. Her name was Esther Watch. Because she was burned as a witch I do not expect you to find her name on a gravestone. The tradition was she would be buried anonymously. Searching through records you will find graves of the correct date – 1652. Then you will rule out all the graves you can by checking against town and church records. When we get it down to few enough sites you will divide into teams and in one night you will dig them all up and find me my necklace. By doing all the digging in one night we will not give the authorities the opportunity to stop us. Do you understand slaves?”

“Yes Goddess.”

“Goooood boooyyys.”

“MMMMmmmmmm”

To be continued…

I NEED to Give Tribute and Gifts

Goddess Haylee Is Everything

Haylee’s Pleasure Always Comes First

I was traveling a week ago. I came home to a house in chaos over a new puppy, and a wife who was having back problems due to all the bending she had to do cleaning up after the puppy. While traveling I listened to Goddess Haylee when I went to bed and while I slept. In the morning I listened to Goddess Truths while I showered and dressed. I missed Facebook, IHWT, Follow+, and Twitter, but I had blocks of uninterrupted time to dedicate to worship and training. It was great.

So when I got back I couldn’t find time to get online to check in. I was listening to Goddess’ MP3s at night, but sometimes interrupted by wife, son or puppy. I found as much as I wanted to drift off into a deep trance, I couldn’t let go. I would try to lay still, but then scratch my nose. I would try to focus on Goddess’ words, but found my thoughts drifting to what was happening at work. I couldn’t achieve the deep, deep trance. I figured that it was because of all the turmoil in my life.

I am addicted

Goddess Haylee is the Fetish

Then July 19th came – Goddess’ Birthday. So very important. I couldn’t do all I wanted, but I did make sure that I snuck away for a few minutes and send Goddess a Birthday Tribute of $100. There was just no way I was not going to celebrate the day.

That night even though nothing else had changed, I easily achieved a deep trance. I easily surrendered to Goddess’ beautiful voice. I lay totally still. I felt Goddess’ bliss. It was wonderful. And I learned something – it wasn’t the chaos that was keeping me from a deep, deep trance and experiencing Goddess’ bliss – it was that I had been too busy to tribute. Without pleasing Goddess I could not experience pleasure. Giving tribute and gifts to Goddess Haylee isn’t just a nice thing that makes me feel good, it is a need. I am addicted to pleasing Goddess Haylee and if I don’t I can’t experience her pleasure until I do.