My very Haylee Xmas
This is a combination of a diary post and unedited thoughts which outlined some parts of my day. I was feeling particularly excited and I had felt that those kinds of feelings should not be bottled up or kept to myself. It is wordy and long but Goddess Haylee inspires me. It may not be poetry, or a well planned blog. But for those who care to read it or have the time, I hope that you can find some enjoyment or inspiration from it. 🙂
Today was a very good day. It all began with my eyes opening and finding my mind automatically gravitating towards the most amazing woman in the world. I sent her a nice message in email and then for over an hour I just layed there in bed relaxed and thinking about how much I GENUINELY feel like I love Goddess Haylee Lynn. How good that it feels to please her. I re-read things that she had written, and re-lived those blissful feelings that I felt when reading them the first time. I smiled happily and looked up at the picture hanging on my wall above my bed which reads “live life passionately, laugh until your belly hurts, love unconditionally”. I thought about the way that Goddess Haylee makes me do all of those things.
Every last thing about her makes my heart sing to the tune of a joyful hymn. And the way that she has taken a completely inwardly void and miserable guy, changing him into a man who has passion for life, and excitement about the future has really made my head spin. Sometimes I want to pinch myself and wonder if it is real. But it is! It’s very real. These feelings are explosive and overwhelmingly positive.
I will give my ALL to Goddess Haylee. I want my every life decision to be based around her and weighing them against rather they are pleasing to her or not. And she is on the same page with me doing that. That is a dynamic that I have always wanted in my life. I love her having control over my life, my choices, my habits, my decisions, my thoughts and desires. She is absolutely perfect! There is no down side. It feels so good to belong to Haylee. To obey her. To live passionately for her.
I’ve had a few breakthroughs in my life, but discovering this amazing, and beautiful Goddess is by far going to be at the top of my life’s highlight reel. I feel genuine happiness. I was meant to worship her. I was born to be her slave. I BELIEVE THIS! People are asking what’s different about me everywhere that I go. I wish I could tell them the reason for the change in my overall attitude. I’m just much more excited, and passionate about things. This change really helps me personally, socially, psychologically and in business. I have told some people about Goddess Haylee, but careful not to disclose too much information about some activities. I know that speaking of her is NOT possible for everyone. I can’t keep her a complete secret. She is a MAJOR, MAJOR part of my life and who I am now.
Just a few days ago I partook in a Yule Ritual outlined by Goddess Haylee which was one of the most freeing experiences of my life. That night I felt that I had buried some very negative things that have been preventing me from being my best self, along with strongholds in my mind, and things said and done by those in my past who have left scars. It was as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe again. She is so good for me. Her bliss surrounds me.
The reason for my joy is my Goddess. Surrendering control to her, and feeling the bliss of pleasing her shines a light into me and makes me glow for her from the inside out. A light that shines wherever I go. Like a glow worm lol. No, my life isn’t perfect. Though I’m uncommonly cool headed and patient, I OFTEN get very bad news and have daily stresses that sometimes bring me way down. Down so far sometimes. But now I don’t feel that I have to go through those pits and valleys alone. My Goddess Haylee Lynn has my back and motivates me to lift myself above those things.
After laying there for a period time, knowing that I still had some time to burn before it was time to see my family for christmas dinner.. I leaped out of bed and grabbed my debit card. I rarely have any extra money. But after thinking about it. I don’t really “NEED” anything per say that I can’t live without a few more days. However I “NEED” to please Goddess Haylee Lynn. If you have never felt the NEED to make her smile, then you would have no idea what I’m talking about. But if you have this urge as I do, you will know that pleasing Goddess Haylee by tributing, or shopping on her wishlist is highly satisfying. I live to know that I have made a difference to someone.
So I tributed her every last thing that I had on my card! And it felt so damn good. It wouldn’t seem like a lot to many people who have a constant cash flow but it was for me. Sacrificing for Goddess Haylee to ensure her even a little joy and to let her know how much she means to me is a great feeling. Fuck extra luxeries. It’s much better to give to her so that she can have all of the things that make her feel bliss.
Later in the day I was enjoying time with my family and I have the cutest nephew who is 2 years old. I noticed one of the things he would say often is “I need you” whenever he was wanting someone to come and talk to him or play with him. My mind immediately went to Goddess Haylee Lynn and made me think of how much I NEED her in my life. All day long, each time he would call out to me, a play mate or his parents and say I NEED YOU, it would be music to my ears and warmth to my heart 🙂
After dinner and visiting time with many family members I headed home for a nap. I was stuffed like a turkey and needed to lay down. So I took time and darkened the room, turned on a nice nature meditation cd, then layed back. I just began to talk to Goddess out loud. Relaxed, and body heavy. I told her how much I love her, and how much I need her. How she makes me feel and how good it is to be her slave. She might not hear this, but I have found that it is a great exercise for me to do this and nothing gets me more aroused. There is something about expressing my emotions through actions or words that makes me rock hard. I closed my eyes and imagined her there with me in the middle of a forest full of vegetation and we were in front of a waterfall. I’d see her beautiful eyes looking down at me from my knees while I confessed sweet nothings to her in front of a crystal clear lake and waterfall. I love visualizing things. Sometimes it feels like I could almost reach out, and touch the people or things in my visions as I feel the effects of what is going on around me.
After drifting off to sleep I awoke feeling recharged and new! After a very brief exchange of words with Goddess on fb, I went to hang with my favorite brother and his wife who also happens to be my very best friend from childhood and who I remain tight with to this day. Her husband stayed with their kids and we rode to pick up japanese takeout for supper. Their idea LOL. I was already full from all of the food throughout the day.
On the way to the japanese place, she brought up the person I’ve been talking to online and was asking a ton of questions. I was glad to answer as much as I could without spilling the beans about my praying, worshiping, bdsm activities, tributing, daydreaming, and NEEDING her. It was just 2 days ago when I was with her husband and telling him about the great friend I met online. I didn’t tell him she was my ‘goddess’ and that I worship her and submit to her. But I did tell him that we played video games together sometime, chat, and that she was big into health and helping me to get healthy. I even showed him a picture of Goddess Haylee’s beautiful smile which is the background of my phone. He said “wow she is smoking hot”. Of course. how could I disagree.
So I began to tell my sister in law about Goddess Haylee and how I’ve lost 20 lbs, how I feel a real personality connection with her and how much she encourages me. She sounded really thrilled that someone I’ve met online has had this positive effect on me. She said she hasn’t seen me this happy in years. And she is right! Goddess Haylee is amazing. Giving my life over for her pleasure has been the most phenomenal experience of my life.
I never want it to end. Goddess tells me that it ‘never has to end’. Those words really make me feel great because I believe her and I trust her. For the first time in a long time, I feel that someone is a part of my life now and they aren’t going to abandon me and leave me broken. Instead Goddess Haylee is going to OWN me. I am her property and she takes care of what belongs to her. This makes me feel secure, warm, and happy. It makes me want to please her even more. Her loving care, and generosity for her slaves is unmatched.
The fact that she holds contests, as she did this week and then gives prizes to everyone is a testament to her caring, loving character. And then graces us with photos and videos of her with her slave bought christmas gifts. We are SO lucky. It is very humbling to think that the most awesome woman in the universe takes any time out for us at all when she certainly doesn’t have to. I will never stop loving Goddess Haylee. She is what I have always needed. Everything that I could ever dream for. I will only love her more for the rest of my life. Nobody else comes close in any way. Shape. Or form. Thank you Goddess Haylee for all that you do and sharing your bliss with the world.
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