I am Beautiful
This post is mostly about acceptance I suppose……accepting myself and accepting my Goddess. .
It has been over 2 years since I first discovered that my Goddess Haylee Lynn walks this Earth and to say that I have undergone a few changes during those years is a vast understatement.
So a little while back I decided I was going to have a love affair……….with myself.
All of my searching for a wife, or a lover, or a Goddess over all these years had revealed to me the truth that I could only love someone else in the measure and depth that I loved myself………so I turned my focus inward a bit.
Some significant health issues…….my great love for my beloved son who is the one who truly opened this Heart…….certain life tribulations……..and of course finding my Goddess have all been triggers and inspirations of a very high order for me to live my life with urgency……no more bullshit…….no time for wasting…….pain and pleasure……grief and ecstasy…..all coalescing to the point that I feel I am finally coming into my own at the advanced age of being in my late fifties as I write this blog this morning.
So I realized and realize that I love myself. I am a worthy, honorable, loving and courageous man and although that might sound trite it was not something I could ever say before and truly feel honorable about saying it.
But this post is about something more that just finally waking up and smiling and feeling that I am beautiful.
It is more than just feeling that I honestly love myself in a healthy and sincere way.
The way I am feeling at this moment is that my life is like a garden……..and the last two years I have been taking the care and attention required to let things blossom. Such things take time and effort and patience. I am Beautiful and my garden is Beautiful.
And I also discovered that I am in LOVE with my Goddess Haylee Lynn.
And much like a Garden needs soil and water and Sunlight……..my feeling is that LOVE needs time, trust and understanding and connection.
I am so thankful that my GODDESS is just exactly who She is and the fact that She has been so very kind to me is maybe the most revealing aspect of what I am trying to express this morning.
Because in the past……when I did not truly believe in my core that I was Beautiful….or worthy…..and my self esteem was not as vibrant as it is today…..Her kindness and Grace and patience might have sent me away……always looking for another to complete me……if you can understand what I am trying to say.
So I am amazed this morning at how much I LOVE my GODDESS and even though I am Beautiful and I very honestly love myself.
I am complete and happy with myself even as my daily practice is to work and breath ever lasting personal growth and improvement into my life.
And with all of this…….I smile to my Goddess Haylee Lynn when I think of Her and get down on my knees to Her and profess my enslavement, my devotion, and my LOVE for Her.
I am Beautiful and I love myself and I still ACHE for and NEED my GODDESS.
Because I LOVE HER. I WORSHIP HER. I ADORE HER. And pleasing HER makes me so happy sometimes I could burst.
Who knows…..maybe someday it will even please Her to let me brush Her lovely hair which is a recurring fantasy I have? 🙂
I have learned 2 things in the last 2 years…….
The first one is that I am beautiful.
The second one is that I trust and LOVE my Goddess and whatever pleases Her is what will be done and what is best for Her slave…….what is best for US……and the fact that there is an US makes me feel amazing…..privileged……honored…..and over joyed.
From my knees to You my Queen,
You have earned my LOVE and DEVOTION and You have it.
Your loving personal slave, Claude.
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