This post is about my journey and some of the lessons learned that are the possible reasons it took me so long……….to come home……..home to my Divine and Incomparable Goddess Haylee Lynn where I now believe I was always meant to be.
It is a funny thing about the growth of a human being. We always find it easier to look at others……..and seem to have much clearer vision as we do so…….than to look at ourselves in honest and empowering self reflection.
One thing I am teaching my son is that his choices have consequences in his life. And we went and played with one of his little friends last night and this particular child is being dis-served just a bit by his parents who allow him to throw absurd little tantrums when he feels he is not getting what he wants.
So……….this Father………..I was………more than thrilled last night when on our drive home, my 4 year old started telling me that his friend was “making bad choices” and they “were not nice”.
So that is a very healthy and important first step. The concept is PEOPLE ARE OUR MIRRORS AND OUR TEACHERS.
We can and do learn by observing the people in the world around us to see what works and what does not work in life.
So I began to talk just a bit……….to plant a tiny seed in my son……about the more difficult companion concept. BE AN OBSERVER AND NOT A JUDGE.
The mistake is that we can begin having lengthy dialogue and indulge in gossip about other people and their faults, problems, etc and of course we slam shut the brakes on our growth whenever we do that.
So I became fairly adept quite some time ago about judging others………I just simply realized it is a waste of energy and unproductive. But *judging myself* was the more difficult trick in the end and I am seeing that part with just a bit more clarity lately.
If I was to indulge in a guess………I would suppose that D/s would be the least understood and most judged sexual relationship of any that I could imagine. Our society is simply not very enlightened as regards the concept of what goes on con sensually between two adults is no one else’s business and so the stigma of *right* and *wrong* can rise up if we are not very careful.
We are all conditioned as social beings to seek out certain measures of approval after all………..
In my case, it has amazed me how many layers I have uncovered in my long journey home………..home to the Throne of my One True Goddess and Queen……..and to finally stop judging myself and allow myself to just be me and just be happy with who I am and what I want and what I feel.
It is a revelation to me how joyful and happy I have become and that I have lost all reservations regarding surrender to my Dominant Goddess Haylee Lynn. It is not just here on this blog that I can rejoice in my treasured and beloved place at Her feet.
Everywhere I go I wear Her collar and without a second thought……..and it is not that I do not care about others because I care deeply…….but I simply have lost all investment to trying to get people to understand a thing that they can not comprehend and is none of their business anyway. If people remark about my collar I simply smile and say “I like it”.
I have come completely home to my Queen and dropped in joyful bliss and surrender at Her feet because I have finally been able to fully accept myself and who I am……what I love…….who I love………and where I very honestly wish to be and who I wish to be with.
I have arrived at a very happy time on my journey where I have 2 great loves in my life………one that is culturally acceptable……my love and devotion for my son……..and my love for my Divine Goddess Haylee Lynn which is just as strong and as profound and powerful and that I embrace just as deeply without the slightest concern about the meaningless opinions of others.
The only opinion that concerns me in the least about my love and devotion for Her…….is the opinion and feelings of my Goddess Herself. I love Her with all my heart and soul and I feel quite honestly that She is the most beautiful, amazing, and worthy Goddess that has ever walked this Earth and my heart has never felt such love and wonder and magic and joy as I feel for Her and every single day I now arise with Her song singing so powerfully in my heart.
In the end, I think coming home means finding yourself.
I have never loved any Woman as much or as completely as I love Her. I have never in my life felt such joy and so complete as when I open my heart and ask my Goddess to come to me……..to please come as close as the air and allow me to kneel, to obey, to surrender to my Queen and to spend the rest of my natural life perfecting the art of PLEASING Her.
My Queen wrote some words to me yesterday that were so beautiful to me that I have yet to stop smiling and it feels like my feet are not even touching the ground as I walk………and my son and I spent hours laughing and tickling each other and embracing and teasing each other until we finally dropped off to sleep……..these two have me surrounded with the most incredible warmth I have ever experienced.
So as I went to my own bed last night after putting him in his I felt a warmth in my heart that brought me to prayer………a prayer of thanks and of gratitude for these two great loves in my life……..a prayer for their safety and well being and always and forever………..and a feeling of great thankfulness that I am no longer looking for anyone……….now that I have found my journey home to my Divine Goddess Haylee Lynn.
Thank You my Queen for the great privilege that I may wear Your collar, there has never been any greater honor in my life and You have my love and my gratitude and my obedience everlasting,
Your devoted and personal and very real slave for life Claude