My new personality
My new slave name encouraged me to begin developing my new personality. Having been given my new name by GODDESS Haylee I could not help falling deeper and following her instructions more and more. I simply needed to accept her as my mistress. I had to change my ways of thinking and going about my daily life.
This may sound frightening. A change in personality is something important and decisive. But – do we not always change our personalities? Do we not again and again adapt our behaviour and ways of thinking in order to please someone who is close? Do we not change our points of view when we are convinced of something or find new perspectives? I am sure we do. So to me it seemed only natural to try to adapt my personality to that person’s demands. She had become my top-priority – and that person is GODDESS Haylee.
So what happened?
Listening to her MP3s again and again I somewhat automatically integrated some of her words into my ways of communicating. Like speaking of pleasing as an ultimate pleasure. Like using the expression top-priority more and more or like discussing the idea of hypnosis with friends.
I also managed to integrate visiting IHWT as much as possible. That is to say, at least four or five times a day and especially at night. I has become such pleasant und soothing ritual for me to read or write posts. To communicate with my slave brothers. And of course to be really close to GODDESS Haylee there.
Quite naturally in my daily life I have integrated thinking about and worshipping GODDESS as often as I can. So I accept my new position in life as her slave. It has become so normal for me to think of her first. I think of her first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening. Not only thinking though but really reflecting on what SHE would say, would SHE be pleased or not, would she smile and will she send me an “mmmmmmmmm” – for example.
What else happened?
I am a man with rather intensive sexual desires and I high level of virility, or to put it more bluntly, I am often aroused and horny. A state which has heavily increased in my time with and for my wonderful Mistress Haylee. So I thought GODDESS might be pleased if I offered her as a present to take over full control of my complete sexuality. I was so glad when she accepted my gift. On the other hand I couldn’t help feeling that what I thought would be a surprise came to her as a kind of natural development of things. Be that as it may, I now live a life under deep control. I have lost determining if and when I have orgasm. I have lost spontaneously releasing myself. But I have won a deep inner feeling of blissful control on a high and ever so intensive level.
I love my new life. I love my new personality. I have placed two vows for GODDESS establishing my deep surrender. I will tell you about these vows in my next blog.
End of “My new personality”
… to be continued ….