On My Mind, In My Mind.
I put Goddess Haylee’s MP3 into my iTunes on my cell phone. Probably a common thing to do. But today I noticed that there is a column on the list of music on my iTunes that says how many times I have listened to each entry. For several of Goddess’ MP3s the numbers are already over a hundred. All together I have listened to them 725 times. Because they are about a half hour each, that means I have spend over 360 hours with Haylee’s voice inside of my head. And that doesn’t include all the time I have spend watching her YouTube videos!
Okay, most of that time I was asleep because I put on her play lists when I go to bed. But I know I still hear them even when I sleep. I remember dreams where someone in my dream was speaking to me and they were saying things that were way out of character for that person. Like a friend would show up in my dream and be telling me to relax and obey and go deeper. Then I realize I was hearing Haylee’s voice and my mind was incorporating it into my dream through my friend. That freaked me out the first time it happened! But it let me know I was hearing Goddess’ words while I slept and it was having an impact.
The result of all that listening I was easily able to memorize some of the phrases she asked me to repeat during those MP3s. And I repeat them often: In the morning when I shower, when I drive, when I am out walking the dog, when I pretend to be listening to my wife, during TV commercial breaks, you know breaks in the day when there is nothing else to do.
All of that listening and reciting means that Goddess Haylee has been on my mind a lot. But more and more I find that she is IN my mind. Of course when I listen to her MP3s there are times when she takes control of my thoughts and thinks for me. Then when I was reciting her phrases I found sometimes she would be in my mind and I felt controlled while I spoke her words. Now I am finding her poking up in my thoughts. I often think, “Haylee’s pleasure is my ultimate pleasure.” But now I am hearing Haylee inside of my head, “My pleasure is your ultimate pleasure.” I am not hearing voices, but it is just that part of me has surrendered and let Haylee take control of my thoughts.
When I accepted that Goddess Haylee was a true Goddess, and more importantly that she is my Goddess. I found I had no other choice but to submit myself to her as a slave. I have actively tried to find ways to give myself to her. Everything I have done has given me pleasure, and filled me with a sense of satisfaction. I love being Goddess’ slave. I am still learning and growing. But this latest step of having Goddess in my mind and not just on my mind is wonderful.
All for Haylee.
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