Resistance Is Futile
Once I start listening I am done for. She takes control. I lose all resistance. The problem is that sometimes I am distracted by thoughts of my life and my work. I didn’t think that was “resistance” but I am beginning to.
I am seeing that resistance is anything that comes between my self and my Goddess. It turns out there are different types of resistance. “Self” is that core of who I am. It is now surrounded by walls of protection. When I was 15 I fell in love so desperately that if my girlfriend were to break up with me, which of course she eventually did, my self was devastated. So I put up a wall around my self to protect it. When I was at work I took great pride in the things I did. I invested my self into it, even though it was just counter help at Arby’s. So when I screwed something up and my boss got mad at me I was hurt. So I put up another wall to protect my self. Those walls and many others have been built up over a lifetime protect my core, my self, from pain. Those walls are the resistance that separate me from Goddess. So I can go into trance and relax with Goddess, but she is denied from full control until all these walls come down.
I thought that giving up resistance would be as easy as it is to be able to go into trance, but now I find it is a long term project. Each day I give Goddess Haylee another brick or two from my walls. A few times some of her light and love have broken through to my self. It was wonderful. But the walls go back up so quickly. So it is sometimes two steps forward and one step back, but I feel closer to Goddess each day. I yearn for the day when she has broken down all my walls and takes full control. I will kneel before her and give her my precious self. It will be the most valuable gift I will ever give her. All for Haylee.
Latest posts by slavejohn (see all)
- What Goddess Haylee Has Taught Me Through Chastity - December 22, 2017
- I Am slavejohn - December 16, 2017
- It’s Payday!! Thank You Goddess! - November 16, 2017
- What does “Slave” Mean to Me - May 20, 2017
- A Guide For Those Who Seek True Submission To Goddess Haylee Lynn (Part 4) - April 24, 2017