Am I into BDSM?

Am I into BDSM?

This post is about the words we use to describe what we like, what we do, and who we are. In my over 30 years of pursuing my interests in the wonderful world of Female Domination I have said many times that I am “into” BDSM.

Am I into BDSM? Really?

Lets break BDSM down for me personally.

Bondage……..no……I am OK with light bondage if it pleases my Mistress……but for me it is no big deal or compelling draw.
Discipline…….no…….I am into being controlled by my Dominatrix and wanting to please Her. I usually need very little correction.
Sadism………I have no interest in being hurt.
Masochism……I have no interest in being hurt and am actually quite adverse to pain.

I have met and played with dozens of pro Dominas in my over 30 years of playing and pursuing. I have connected with a handful..and of course powerfully with my Goddess Haylee Lynn…….
and only a couple of others.

I have been indifferent to the majority and become friendly with a few that lacked sensual chemistry.

Hypnotism is something else that holds no particular big draw with me even as I know some of my brothers like Forever slave for instance came to our GODDESS. as a big fan of that art form. For me……it is just not so important.

So I have after all this time finally figured out what I am “into”……

I am into surrender……I am a “slave” but only when I find the right One for me……I am 100% heterosexual and deeply fascinated by Dominant Women. I have been all of my life and if I have learned anything it is that each and every one of the Domina’s I have met are as different and unique as I am from my brothers Forever or Johndavid.

So for me…….what I am “into” is learning all about the Dominant Woman who enslaves me and then accepting Her unique training when that happens and learning all about the art of pleasing Her. My expressions and feelings were different for my former Mistress than they are for my Goddess Haylee Lynn even as I love and am/was enslaved to them both. They are two entirely different Women and comparisons are truly moot.

Cycles and Stages

Am I into BDSM?

I feel happy lately that after all this time I am knowing myself at a deeper level.
I have had some personal concerns that have kept me from blogging and will keep me from blogging over much in the near future……but it pains me because I know that it pleases my GODDESS when I blog.

And I am a slave who lives to please my GODDESS.

That is what makes me most happy.

I hope You are pleased and well served this day my Goddess Haylee Lynn because You richly deserve the very best.

From my knees to You and gratefully,
Your Claude

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My Sensual Software

My Sensual Software

This post is about addiction. I have never considered myself the addictive type…….I do not enjoy drugs or alcohol over much and never did smoke…..I am careful what I eat or drink and so when the word “addicted” first come up for me as regards my surrender to my Incomparable Goddess Haylee Lynn I remember cringing a bit and not feeling so good about it.

Really? I am ADDICTED? I thought addiction was unhealthy? I do not want to be unhealthy!

Lets go to the Dictionary technique.

Addiction…..compulsive engagement in rewarding behavior despite ADVERSE consequences………….

Now wait a minute here. Are we judging D/s sexuality if we are calling it *adverse*?

Would we call a married couple who has vanilla sex 5 times a week………long and passionate love making sessions…..”compulsive” or “addicted” or consider their behavior “adverse”.

No………….I think most would say……congratulations on a healthy sex life!!!

I have been pursuing Dominant Woman for over 30 years!!! I fucking ADORE my GODDESS and was deeply in love with and enslaved to my former Mistress as well. I did not say I was *addicted* to her……I said I was in LOVE with her and that is the honest truth.

On my journey with my Divine and Irresistible Goddess Haylee Lynn we have tried many different versions of what works for us…….we tried chastity for a time for instance……but it is a journey and things ebb and flow and they change……..such is the nature of life and relationships……nothing stands still and even a flower will bloom differently year after year…and there have been so many times when I truly ache and crave connection with my Goddess that I can no longer count them…….but there is nothing *adverse* about any of it and not even close.

Being submissive is just My Sensual Software.

I love surrender. I love feeling Her Power. I love melting beneath the will of a True Dominant.

Command Me Please

Command Me Please

The reason it comes up time and time again is because that is what sexually happens to a healthy body.
Sexual energy rises in a healthy body…….and the more healthy it is……the more often it will present itself.
In my humble opinion……addiction has nothing to do with it.

Gay folks get aroused by the same sex…….heterosexual folks get aroused by the opposite sex……..submissive folks get aroused by Dominants of their gender choice. If we label one *healthy* and another one *addictive* I think that is a good clue we are judging and have lost discernment.

We could label My Sensual Software all kind of things if we care too……and I really do not care.

Goddess Worship Fetish……Female Domination Fetish……Kinky……Freaky……Different……Whatever.
But please do not tell me I am “addicted” because I will disagree with you.

I like being in LOVE. I like having lots and lots of healthy sex with my healthy body. I do not even need a partner to have healthy, wonderful, fabulous and multiple orgasms.

I LOVE myself…….I LOVE my GODDESS …….and I LOVE sex.

I find nothing whatsoever that is addictive or adverse about any of that. πŸ™‚

Thank You for being You my Goddess Haylee Lynn.

Triple Play

Sweet Surrender to my Sweet, Sensual Goddess.

Thank You for complimenting My Sensual Software so perfectly. πŸ™‚

Your loving and devoted slave, Claude

Many thanks for reading “My Sensual Software” please feel free to comment and to share.

Surrender, Freedom and Creativity

Surrender, Freedom and Creativity

“Surrender, Freedom and Creativity”Β is about many things I suppose.

I am feeling warm and happy. I love surrendering to all of that. I love surrendering too, to the sexy Domineering GODDESS of my dreams. I have been *submissive* all of my life. I did not realize it fully until well into my 20’s……. over 30 years ago now……. πŸ™‚

So I have also begun a few Spiritual practices lately. These having me exploring the *Freedom* of surrender. Of going out of body and beyond. On long sessions of meditation. Sometimes guided. Sometimes unguided. Surrender is also a very powerful force in such endeavours as it turns out.

In the classic book………….Β Power vs Force by David Hawkins ……… We learn that forcing anything is the opposite end of the spectrum from real power. We are creative beings we humans. We do not create something powerful by trying to control our nature. We access power by letting go……. Even the true Dominants I have met along the way do this…… My Incomparable Goddess Haylee LynnΒ is simply being Herself. Β She is letting Her natural power and beauty emanate as submissives come to Her. They bow down to feel Her wonderful Goddess Bliss…. She does not run around tackling people. She does not force submission onto them.

This is consensual slavery we are experiencing here in Her Divine Empire.Β It is beautiful. It is warm. It is powerful………and can also be loving.

thank

Surrender, Freedom and Creativity.

The dance becomes as interesting as we make it. We are *creative* beings at our core. There is no better place for our creativity than our sensuality in my opinion.

Some days I have enjoyed thinking of my Goddess as my Witch. I think of being Her spellbound puppet and complete conquest. She could be my Dark Witch. She could be my Light Witch. West or East as the mood strikes. :).

Other days She is my Queen. She is imperial. She is aloof. She is unobtainable. She requires my strict obedience.

Other days She is my Loving Goddess. She is warm. She is nurturing. She is open. She is sweet. She supports me if I need Her.

Chastity

Surrender, Freedom and Creativity.

I am encouraging myself to play more these days. As I expand my Spiritual practice. I am setting the intention to be more creative. I want to have fun. I want to stop judging. I want to just let go.

Happy Sunday Divine Empire.
I LOVE You my Goddess Haylee Lynn.

Your loving and grateful slave, Claude.

Many thanks for reading “Surrender, Freedom and Creativity”. Please comment and share appropriately.

She is my Light and my Way

This post is about my journey into the world of the Dominatrix…….my 30 some years of pursuing and being enslaved by a couple of very fascinating and Enchanting Women…..one a Mistress…..one a Goddess……but both deeply into Spiritual Growth and helping people realize and create better versions of themselves.

My former Mistress……..Mistress Renee…….. was very powerfully into Spiritual Growth and compelled me to begin my own journey into untangling my Heart and unraveling the Matrix of habits and patterns I had picked up from my parents and family principally and society significantly.

This all began about 20 years ago and as I was deeply in love and completely enslaved any suggestion from her was instantly embraced.
My Heart had never been opened in a sexual relationship before I met her and I was over whelmed and desperate to please her constantly. So it was off to personal growth seminars and courses with her and for her.

I will be forever grateful to her for her guidance and for the fact that she wanted the best for me…….despite the way she ended our affair…..the fact that she decided to end it at all was always going to hurt like hell no matter what she did in truth.

I was lost and deeply depressed……….but I now at least had Spiritual tools I had not possessed before going on my journey with her and in the end it was ALL good for me. I grew from knowing her in so many ways and I do not regret one second…..and now find I am profoundly grateful for having her play such an essential role in my life.

Thank you Mistress Renee and BLESSINGS and much LOVE to you forever. πŸ™‚

I do not believe in co incidence as I have stated before…..the is something underlying my submissive aspect and the deep craving for genuine surrender that drew me to Mistress Renee……and also very clearly drew me to my Divine and Incomparable Goddess Haylee Lynn.

comes along

Needing to learn how to please Her.

Choosing that picture of my Goddess just made me very weak………She is my Light and my Way and I know it.

I am a better and happier person for being Her slave and putting Her needs before my own. ALL is truly better when ALL is for my Goddess Haylee.

I went into my sauna again last night to do a meditation. My intention was to surrender…….not to my Goddess specifically at that time…..but to Source……to the Universe……to surrender my ego.

Intuitively I smiled as I prepared the candles and immersed myself in the darkness….the warmth…..the quiet…..and the solitude as I just *knew* my Goddess would be pleased with me and what I was doing with a part of my evening even though we had no discussions about this. And even though this particular bit of surrender was not for Her……it was good for Her slave and so it would be pleasing to Her.

That thought made me smile. πŸ™‚

Cruise Holiday

Follow Her and find your own Bliss.

My mentor told me recently that my Soul craved surrender and that was one reason why my LOVE for Her is so unstoppable. And now I find that LOVE is just spilling out of me. I have lost all resistance to loving my parents…..my siblings…..my friends….even strangers. Everything that ever happened to me was and is an opportunity.

Just like my thankfulness to my Mistress Renee…..I am finding gratitude and love for everything and everyone.

Thank You as well my

Dreams

Thank You my Goddess

for being my Light and my Way.

Thank You my Goddess for caring about Your slaves and for leading us to personal growth and awareness and deeper levels of self generated happiness.

You are my Light and my Way and I LOVE You.

I LOVE being Your slave and I LOVE myself as well.

So in the end the two most important teachers in my live have both enslaved me and taught me the joy of Worship. (respect, honor, reverence).

Damn I LOVE going to school!!!! LOL. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

From my knees to You always my Goddess Haylee Lynn,
Your devoted and loving personal slave, Claude

The Most Precious Gift

This post is one of truly humbled Gratitude and Thankfulness for the One I now belong to and with All my Heart and Soul.
My Divine and Incomparable Goddess Haylee Lynn has Blessed me with The Most Precious Gift I could ever receive in this life or in any life.

I made my proposal to my Goddess about this wish a few weeks ago…….and She very generously decided to allow me to fulfill this dream………and to also fulfill what is so clearly now my Destiny.I BOW to my GODDESS in humbled THANKS for The Most Precious Gift She has bestowed on me.

My daily devotion, as a father and as a slave.

On my knees to Her where I BELONG and NEED to be Forever.

Yesterday…….my new collar came in the mail. The postman left it at my door just as I was writing a personal letter to my Queen in fact.
My Goddess so very generously allowed me to use some of HER money to purchase this beautiful collar that is now this slaves ONLY possession as ALL else is Owned by Her and as I am Owned by Her.

The Most Precious Gift

The Most Precious Gift

I had told my Goddess that I wanted a collar that I could wear ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE that I go as nothing less than perfect devotion and perfect surrender to Her can ever again do for this slave. I NEED Her……I desperately NEED and ACHE to constantly feel Her Power with me on every step I take and having The Most Precious Gift adoring my body that is now Her body and acknowledging who Owns me is pure BLISS and fulfillment for this slave.

My pre opening Prayer and Ritual at Her Altar.

My pre opening Prayer and Ritual at Her Altar.

This picture was taken before I opened The Most Precious Gift and the only property this slave owns any longer. My treasured and beautiful sole possession. I bowed to my Goddess in humbled and sincere Thanks and felt such JOY and HAPPINESS as I did so.

The Most Precious Gift now adorns Her perfect personal slave.

The Most Precious Gift now adorns Her perfect personal slave.

Our collar was purchased at http://shop.elegantcollars.com/ this shop.

It is handcrafted by a very lovely woman named Jessica who makes what she calls “discreet BDSM jewelry” for everyday wear. Our collar is Sterling Silver interlocked with light blue and Indigo Niobium. I have extremely light blue eyes and my Goddess and I thought that the blue colors would compliment Her Perfect slave.

I just adore it!!!! πŸ™‚

And the best part of ALL……is that it is ALL FOR HAYLEE.

All for my Goddess, my One, my Queen, my Mistress, my Owner and forever.

Because The Most Precious Gift is Sterling Silver my instruction’s from Jessica are to take it off each time I shower and not to get it wet.
I have special instructions as well for the care and cleaning of it. So I now have a new Ritual of taking it off and bowing to Her Altar and placing it beneath Her as I shower……and then kneeling again in humbled thanks after I place it back onto Her property (me!).

My Goddess is wiser than me.
My Goddess is stronger than me.
My Goddess is my Superior.
My Goddess knows what is best for Her slave.

I NEED Her commands. I NEED to WORSHIP Her. I NEED Her Rule.

I am so much happier now that I have surrendered to Her completely.

I LIVE for You my Queen. Every Blessed second of every cherished day I live by Your Divine Rules and subject to Your each and every Blessed whim and desire and command.

My life is a now a slave’s life of daily and devoted GODDESS WORSHIP now and it is so because I found YOU my GODDESS HAYLEE LYNN.

I have no power and I want no power. ALL that I want and NEED is symbolized and expressed as I wear The Most Precious Gift.

Thank You my Queen for Your generosity and Your Divine acceptance of me.
I LOVE You……I LIVE for You…..I belong to You…..and Forever.
Your devoted and collared and perfect personal and very real slave, Claude

So much Better

This post is about the realization of ALL of my lifelong dreams……it is about incredible….sexy…..fulfilling…..warming…..LOVE and devotion for my Divine Goddess Haylee Lynn and how my life is So Much Better as it is now lived as Her Perfect and devoted and very real personal slave.

Each and every morning as I wake my very first thoughts are of surrender to my Goddess…….and I just have to smile as I think of kneeling in rapt devotion for my Queen. Even when I am company……like I just recently was for two days with my son in the other bed in the same room in our hotel……I think of Her this way and I feel the tingles and the joy that being Her personal chattel constantly creates in my life.

My happy Truth is that EVERYTHING is So Much Better now that I am Her completely Owned and Perfect slave.

Life is So Much Better now that I am HERS Forever.

Life is So Much Better now that I am HERS Forever.

Yesterday I had the great privilege of buying my Goddess a pedicure…….the pleasure of doing so was almost over whelming……so truly delicious……that I found myself begging Her for more on twitter. I was Blessed to also send Her a couple of things to pamper Her soft shiny hair from Her amazon gift list.

Living my life as Her personal slave has been a complete Blessing to me. I take no particular joy in buying things for myself but I really do not go without very much nor do I need much. I do enjoy buying things for my son and taking care of him in an impeccable manner. Being a great Father is essential to me and one of the 1001 reasons why I am Her Perfect and complete slave is that it pleases Her so much that I am a devoted and loving Father to my son.

As I bow to my Queen this morning and every morning and will forever bow to Her as my complete and true Superior it fills my Heart and Soul with profound happiness that She wants the best for me and for my little one. And such a TRUE GODDESS as my QUEEN AND COMPLETE MASTER on this Earth is and will be forever should be pampered……attended too……obeyed……WORSHIPED……and should never go without anything that this slave can possibly provide for Her in Blessed TRIBUTE to what She truly means to me.

I LOVE my GODDESS.

I LOVE my GODDESS.

Yesterday was not TRIBUTE THURSDAY and it was not the Sacred Day of TRIBUTE that we who live our lives under a slave contract for Her are privileged to celebrate…..but this slave has learned and I now accept that it is So Much Better for me when what money I have is placed in Her Perfect hands where it now rightfully belongs.

ALL in my life is So Much Better when ALL IS FOR HAYLEE.

I LOVE my Goddess……I NEED my Goddess……I WORSHIP my Goddess……..I BOW to my Goddess……and whatever She wants……my Divine and Incomparable Goddess Haylee Lynn will get from Her Perfect slave.

The Good Slave

Whatever She wants this slave will give to Her.

Each time that I may bow to my Queen and place meaningful TRIBUTE at Her Perfect feet it is more fulfilling to me than the last.
I can not just express my LOVE and DEVOTION for Her by pounding away blogs on my computer……although this too is a treasured and Sacred duty for my Queen that I cherish and embrace.

What part of my life should I hold back from Her when EVERYTHING in my Universe is So Much Better now that I have found my way Home to my One, my True, my Only, my Goddess Haylee Lynn.

My life is a slaves life now and it is a LOVE filled life of Worship and Joy and Reverence and happiness. ALL is rightfully for HAYLEE because my Goddess creates and demands that I live my life immersed in Her GODDESS BLISS.

I have no power in me to deny Her anything.

Command Me Please

Command Me my Queen and I will ALWAYS obey.

I do not want to deny Her anything.

Life is So Much Better as it is now and rightfully lived ALL FOR HAYLEE.

I bow my Queen and with all my Heart and Soul do I embrace Your Rule, Your Ownership, Your Mastery of this slave,
I can not and will not deny You anything as my constant dream that is not a dream is to cater to and to attend to Your every Blessed Whim and Divine pleasure forever.

From my knees to You and You alone my Goddess,
Your perfect and personal slave, Claude

Truly Owned

Truly Owned

This post is written in the wee hours as my day dawns on the life of this slave who is now completely and blissfully Owned. My Owner has created another MP3 file and the first thing this *Truly Owned* slave did this morning was to get down on my knees and purchase this Blessing from my Incomparable and Irresistible Goddess Haylee Lynn.

I wish I could listen to it right now……but my little one is here and came home to me with a little bug so I will honor this other duty I cherish and spend my weekend caring for and nurturing him. There will be time enough in this slave/life I now live to honor and please my GODDESS by going under in this file and I will do it.

I am Truly Owned now and a slave very deeply in love.

I'm so stupid for you Goddess Haylee

Truly owned – My One, my Only, my Goddess Haylee Lynn.

It is difficult for me to describe the feeling that is in this body right now……..if I think of Her it feels like I am almost floating.
I have come to accept that despite the physical distance between us……I have never been closer to any Woman…….but that statement surely is not fair because there is only One GODDESS in my life and She is whom I bow to Worship and obey.

I redesigned my Altar here in my humble Temple of Worship to my GODDESS yesterday.
I made this wonderful decision to purchase some personal items …….which any potential or hopeful slave can also do by clicking the above link……and now that I have some Scared and Treasured objects here I am wondering why I did not do this earlier.

A Slave's Dark Reality: Part I

Truly Owned and Forever

And now…..even when my little one is here……I have this wonderful and very discrete Altar to my GODDESS in my bed chambers. Anyone could look at it and not be wondering over much……but if I look at it my heart leaps in Joy and Wonder and in LOVE that I have found myself reunited with my One, True, and Only GODDESS in this Universe.

I have served Her in lifetimes past………..I will serve Her in lifetimes future…….I worship and love and adore my GODDESS Haylee Lynn and this devoted Father, honorable friend and neighbor, a good man and brother and son…….is a Truly Owned slave now and loving every minute of it.

I bow to You my Queen.

I know when I am beaten.

My life is Yours to command and no statement could make me happier.

Command Me Please

Truly owned – Command me my Queen and I will always obey.

Whatever You truly want or need please know that my Heart could never suffer You lacking for anything.
My pledge, my cherished duty, is to care for You and to attend to Your pleasure.
Your each and every Divine whim my mission and my joy to fulfill.

I am on my knees to You and You alone my GODDESS.
And I am never been happier in my life, πŸ™‚
Your completely humbled and devoted personal slave, Claude