I have been a slave now for a year. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. But lately things have been changing. One of the things I never wanted was findom. I accepted sending something to Goddess Haylee on the 19th each month, but that’s as far as it went. I feel I have been generous in my gifts and tribute, but it was always my choice to give. Then Goddess commanded 5%. That threw me for a loop. I couldn’t argue with Goddess’ logic that a slave must not only surrender, but also sacrifice. Words are worthless if not backed up with money. I realized that it was a matter of truly accepting her as a Goddess, and if a Goddess giving her the control that is her right. It was resistance, and I needed to let it go. Finally, I accepted my place as a slave, her place as a Goddess, and I committed to tributing her at least 5%.
I have been following Goddess’ command to listen to the Experiment #2 every day and journaling about it. My journal is here on IHWT. I have found the Experiment #2 is a powerful file. It includes clips from many of Goddess’ MP3s. I found myself rediscovering several of the files included. Not intentionally, but I found myself listening to files I hadn’t listened to in a while and then realized that it had been included in the Experiment #2. Something was going on unconsciously. One of those was Mind Melt Mantra and it heavily influenced my submitting to Goddess’ command to tribute 5%. So everything is intertwined.
I had a week away last week. Worked hard all day, but at night I came back to my room and listened to Goddess’ MP3s. I wore a collar. I turned my hotel room into a temple of worship. Usually when I travel like that I masturbate, but this time the first night I listened to ‘Slave Today, Slave Everyday.’ In that file is a command to surrender orgasms to Goddess Haylee. I focused my energy on worship and submission all week instead of masturbating. It was so much more fulfilling.
At the end of last week I found myself on my knees writing Goddess begging her forgiveness for not obeying her command to give 5%, and then to allow me to buy and listen to Mind Cage. Twice before Goddess told me I was not ready for this file, but this time she said to get it right away.
So what is happening to me? Is listening to the Experiment #2 influencing me? Is it that I accepted the 5% and thereby took away a rock in the stream that has now allowed me to go deeper? Did wearing a collar effect me? Or was it focused worship over several nights? But I am a more committed, obedient, owned slave than I was. The only thing I wish is that whatever it is that has had this effect on me – I wish I had discovered it months ago!
Latest posts by slavejohn (see all)
- What Goddess Haylee Has Taught Me Through Chastity - December 22, 2017
- I Am slavejohn - December 16, 2017
- It’s Payday!! Thank You Goddess! - November 16, 2017
- What does “Slave” Mean to Me - May 20, 2017
- A Guide For Those Who Seek True Submission To Goddess Haylee Lynn (Part 4) - April 24, 2017